The Hokey Pokey.

“You put your left foot in. You put your left foot out. You put your left foot in…and you shake it all about.”

This childhood favorite pretty much sums up my entrepreneur life these days at HireMeAspen. Make a decision. Change that decision. Remake that decision. And then shake it all about. Do the hokey pokey while I turn myself around...

And I’m not indecisive.

It sure does seem like I’m shaking it all about these days though. But then again, these are crazy times.

There really are too many options to decide, too many to-dos to complete, and too many directions to head. Should I get an intern? Should I seek a VC? Should I launch another town or master the one I’m in now? Should I test a freemium model or stay firm? Should I change my registration form? Should I add video?

And that just leads to more woulda, shoulda, couldas.

It’s great being a sole-proprietor because you get to make all the decisions. It’s also not great being a sole-proprietor because you get to make all the decisions.

What’s even more bizarre is that I fantasize sometimes about having a mediocre job, making a mediocre salary, so I can have my mediocre weekends back. It’s just a fantasy, though, because I know if I really did that, I’d grow crazy with boredom.

The past seven years have been ones of such incredible growth, but I’ve been on a work treadmill, living in two places constantly with Minneapolis being my base. Back and forth to NYC. Back and forth to San Francisco. Back and forth to Aspen. (I know, I know…tough life, huh?). These past seven years have been anything but boring, and I wouldn’t change a thing. I just long for more weekends away from the computer and work, and more weekends spent doing mindless tasks.

For example, I can’t remember the last time I got fired up about a sports team winning the World Series, playoffs or Super Bowl because I don’t remember the last time I had 3-4 hours to actually sit down and watch a game. Or, I can’t recall the last time I took a painting class, a cooking class, or any class for that matter. I’m not really craving doing those things again right now. I’m just craving having the option.

I guess as individuals, we always have options to create whatever life we want.

My choice right now is to keep moving forward as an entrepreneur, working hard to achieve the ultimate life of freedom I desire.

I'm also choosing the option of humming childhood songs during coffee breaks because “that’s what I'm all about!”

Paralysis of Analysis

When you own your own business, you're always thinking about it but you really don't mind.  But I've noticed that about every 7-10 days, I get overwhelmed with all the to-dos that I freeze up and get paralysis of analysis.  Or I find myself focusing all of my attention on one particularly brainless thing like Facebook or Twitter which is probably a coping mechanism until my brain unravels.

To-do lists are a great help.  I keep one on my Outlook calendar that works nicely, and it's great to see the tasks completed, although I'm noticing that my list never shrinks. If anything, the more items I complete, the more my list grows, which certainly seems counter-intuitive.  It's because there's always more to be done in the small business world of wearing multiple hats.

I had forgotten how invigorating owning a business can be.  It fills you up. You are filled with passion and so glad to be moving forward doing your own thing.  Yet, I'd forgotten about how other emotions come into play...emotions I don't really want to have in my life.  Fear.  Uncertainty.  Anxiety. 

I hate to second-guess myself, but I find myself doing that more now that I'm a small business owner.  Co-workers don't exist to bounce ideas off of, and you probably care a lot more now that it's your own gig.  So I rely on my vendors, my mentors, my family, my friends to pick me up when I get scared and overwhelmed.  And they do! 

Just when you hear the last bit of negativity or hit a lull or think you can't go any further, you get a beautiful and heartfelt facebook post like this from a close friend: 

"WOW - I just tooled around HMA and was super impressed! You are doing an awesome job!! Stay focused on your divine ability to attract all that's great! All the very warmest love to you..."

That's what keeps me going.  Those perfect moments that inspire.  I love my friends and family and facebook fans.  Thank you for all your support that really means the world to me. 

I can't imagine doing this trek all alone.  I'm so grateful for this opportunity and blessed by the people in my life. 

Oh...and massages help too, as always. ;)